I hate going to bed upset but there’s not much else I can do
I’m sleepy and stressed because school starts tomorrow and exams are a month away and graduation is soon and everything’s moving too fast make it stop please
I just ugh I’m really upset I feel like crying wow I’m a useless pos.
I think my friend’s contemplating suicide
I don’t think I can do anything for her
I told her I’d miss her and I feel like that makes me a horrible person but gosh a part of me just doesn’t want her to be miserable anymore.
wow im such a fatty fat fat
im gonna see if i can go all day without eating
maybe just a yogurt
Talked to a good friend of mine, which hopefully has calmed me down enough to sleep.
Either way, I’m going to bed.
Definitely planning on seeing Mr. Hussar and getting the rest of this out; the thought of that is gonna get me through the day.
Okay, so I’ve acknowledged that I’m losing my best friend to a girl that’s had a beef with me for a while now and that’s definitely the source of a lot of my anxiety
I’m sorry I’m not cool or sassy or rebellious or anything like that
I’m sorry I’m just a dorky, ugly, quiet girl with no backbone
I’m sorry that I have so many issues and that I depend on you so much (it must be hard for you)
I’m sorry that I’ve changed (I know I have) and that it’s driving a wedge between us and that’s probably why you started hanging out with her
I hope she’s being a good friend to you, and I hope that she’s comforting you like I’m not able to anymore.
I’m so frickin tired but I don’t wanna sleep cause then it’ll be tomorrow and I have to deal with people I really don’t wanna be around people please why this
At least Wednesday’s just a funeral, and that’s it. No school or anything like that. Thank goodness.
Jeez what has been my deal lately it’s like any time I think I’m making progress with myself I freaking fall all the way back.
Didn’t sleep at all, mom and bro got back as soon as I laid down.
Ended up self-harming instead.
Gotta do homework now, even though that’s the last thing I wanna do.
I’m actually really depressed but I can’t go to my best friend because she’s upset about our classmate passing away and I don’t want to bother her with my stupid problems and feelings
I wanna be a psychiatrist god that’s so funny I’m fucked up in the head myself how can I help other people god my entire existence is just a laugh
I’m going to sleep for a bit even though I know that’s a bad idea but hahaha who the fuck cares.
Thats the thing about depression, the longer you hold it off, the harder it comes back. Im done.